King Georgey Boy I and Tricky Dicky II


Майкъл Кешмън


The misleader of the supposed free world stood, in his egg-shaped office in front of his favourite mirror, in preparation for the annual State of the Disunion Address later that evening. He looked at his image, as he always did, and found that he really liked what he saw. The expensive and smart business suit that had been fitted to his mousish frame, at the taxpayers' expense, seemed to lend him the air of importance that he so desperately needed. The image reflected in the full length mirror seemed plausible enough and he gave himself a quick wink with the pair of fresh fish eyes that had so often shown the world the true shallowness of their beady intelligence. All the while the mouth below would be free to babble its misleading propaganda and dare those who knew him for what he truly was to step forward and be condemned. A dry and whiny cackle broke from his thin lips as he began to recite his speech, which had been written down by one of his underlings on the back of a copy of the US Constitution.

"My fellow Americans, I am here today to tell you that under my reign America has prospered more than at any other time in her glorious history." he said as he tried to keep a straight face, knowing full well that he was lying through his capped teeth. "Today marks a historic epic in our mighty nation's fight against global terrorism."

That should get their attention, he thought, when he suddenly noticed the mirror move slightly under the weight of his words. Curious as to why this had happened, he looked up towards the distorted view of himself and noticed for the first time that the mirror was being held in place by a pair of fingers, which closely resembled uncooked pork breakfast sausage links. He paused in bewilderment as to how this could be and set the paper down on the shiny mahogany desk, ripped from the heart of some Brazilian rainforest beside him.

"What is this?" he half mumbled to himself, as a gleaming bald head embedded with the occasional scatter of white baby hair, suddenly made an appearance from the top of the mirror. The pinkish cherub head suddenly burst into full view and called him by name, causing the most powerful ruler in the world's heart to skip a beat. "That's it, Georgey boy," the voice continued, "you tell them what they want to hear!" "Oh it's you Dicky!" the man-who-would-be-king exclaimed with apparent relief, believing for half a second that it might be some unforeseen Al Qaeda plot at work.

"Yes, Georgey, it's only uncle Dicky behind the scenes as usual" the unhealthy looking head said, comforting his often childish prodigy. Suddenly, the mirror began to shake as the laughter behind it began to grow to immense proportions. It became an infectious sound and the mighty leader found himself joining in for reasons unknown, even to himself. The laughter filled the office, where many of the most important decisions in the world are made and carried itself through the locked, steel security enforced door and into the ears of the guard, who stood diligent watch outside. The guard winced with the impact of it, realizing it reminded him of some 1950s horror film, in which the mad scientist suddenly discovered that his once dead creation had suddenly gained the gift of life. The Secret Service Agent shook his head, dispelling the strange thought with the knowledge that he was in charge of protecting the two greatest men in the world. Looking to his watch, he noticed that it was almost time for lunch and licking his lips in anticipation of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich his mother had specially prepared and placed in his Scooby Doo lunchbox; he thought no more on the matter of the mad laughter.

March 2007